My Love Affair

I just ended a love affair. The lover of my soul, Jesus, wooed me and sought after me until he was able to possess me. I loved him simply because he loved me. His love was like none other… no one had ever loved me in the which he loved me – pure, sweet, and complete. And all he asked of me was that I would love him with all my heart, mind, and soul, and that I would follow him wherever he led me. And because of the great love with which he loved me, it was a small thing to do.

But, alas! Another sought my love. Another sought my affection and my attention. Yet, the love I was offered failed in comparison to the love of Jesus. But nonetheless, i gave my love away to another.

I found it impossible to love them both. My lover loved me in a different way – one that stimulated my lesser nature and caused me to obsess about him night and day. The love was not good for me, but it made me feel good. The love Jesus gave me satisfied my deepest, heartfelt needs and desires. Yet, his love and his unrelenting kindness only made my guilt all the more severe. The guilt made me want to move away… to avoid him and his love. But it seemed that the more I tried to flee from Jesus’s love, the more it chased after me… until one day it caught me.

When his love captured me, it surrounded me. Breaking me down to tears causing sorrow and penitence to pour from my heart. What did He ever do to deserve such treachery from the one he loved? But i was faced with a dilemma: how do i tell my lover? It seemed the harder I struggled to leave, the more it seemed my lover had ensnared my soul. What would I do?

They say the most common type of homicide is those that involve a love triangle. Truly I found myself in this situation. I had only one option if I wanted to be free to love the lover of my soul: my lover had to die. The day that i found my lover, the day i killed my lover, he pleaded with me. He begged that I would let him live. He asked if there was any way that I could continue the affair. He pledged his love for me in his dying breaths. I told him he had to die or I would never be free to love Jesus. And so he died. And so I was set free.

Who was my love? He goes by many names: Carnality, the Old Man, The Love of Self, Flesh…

The Moral of this allegory is this: We must kill Flesh if we want to love Jesus with our whole heart, mind, and soul.


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